Leahey.org

or How to Become an Introvert Part 1

There is no skill, and yes it is a skill, that you will get better use out of than enjoying solitude. A person who is just as comfortabe alone as with other people has an edge over everybody else. They won’t force themselves to fraternize with those that can do them no good, they won’t surround themselves with people they don’t particuliarly like, just to not be alone. Accepting and enjoying solitude requires inner resources, and a willingness to go against conventional schools of thought.

There is a bias against solitude, there is a notion that if you aren’t surrounded by people, you’re some kind of antisocial loser. This is a frightening theory. The world is becoming less and less self-reliant because of thoughts like these.

I have to admit I have an edge over most people, I’m a raging, RAGING introvert. I can spend hours upon hours alone, thinking of all kinds of things, with absolutely no distractions and be entirely content.

Which brings me to my next point, I firmly believe introverts are made, not born. I think anyone, given a good amount of time, can condition themselves to be at least more introverted than they currently are. It will take time, but a few simple practices can put you on the right track:

Try to work out problems yourself. Resist the temptation to ask others for assistance, right off the bat. I’m not saying you should never ask for help, what I AM saying is that you should exhaust all your resources before you do. For instance, rather than asking someone to explain a concept to you, consider first trying to find a definition on the internet. Use Google’s “define:” command. This conditions your brain to start coming up with solutions for itself.

Spend some time with you. You had to see this one coming. One of the key aspects of being an introvert is possessing the ability to spend time alone. Don’t get me wrong, having a good social life is important too, but you shouldn’t have to constantly be doing something with someone else to be comfortable. So, set aside a specific amount of time at the end of each day to just be alone with your thoughts. Consider writing. Don’t write for anyone else, just write for yourself. I also like to set aside at least one day a week to spend completely at home, this can be difficult to accomplish if your work or school schedules conflict, so try setting a night aside.

Realizing you don’t need to be distracted. I wish I knew the average amount of money Americans spend yearly on distractions. Think about it. Television? Distraction. Radio? Distraction. Even alcohol is a distraction in a way. A key change you need to make on your path to becoming an introvert, is to embrace your un-distracted self. To enjoy chunks of time where you’re completely willing to allow your mind to wander, to think about your problems, or to just flat out ponder.

We have been conditioned to believe we need to constantly be doing something. So, for just one day this week, consider actively trying to do nothing.