Leahey.org

Good communication is the key to any relationship, be it business or personal. Quite possibly the most applicable self improvement skill that can be learned, is improving ones communication skills. A relationship with no communication isn’t really a relationship at all. In business, it can lead to a lack of confidence. Nobody wants a friend that never pays attention to a word they say, and for sure no one wants to be romantically involved with someone who is completely unable to make themselves understood. A few tips I’ve found helpful to communicate, and be communicated to, more effectively.

1. Become a better listener. The first step to improving your communication skills is an obvious one, but its not an easy one to master. Being a good listener is not something you can just read a guide on and have, it takes time. Body language is a big part of letting the other person know you’re paying attention. Try not to fidget with your arms, or change positions too often. If you have to, maintain eye contact (See #2) as you do it.
2. Look the person in the eye. Nothing tells another human being “I’m listening” more than looking them square in the eye. Don’t stare, you’ll look insane, keep it natural.
3. Give small responses to let them know you’re still listening.
4. Ask questions, questions that will allow them to tell you something you think they want to. Ask questions even if you have to ask one you already know the answer to. Quick questions to clarify. If your boss is telling you about his sick Aunt Liz’s bad leg, ask him if she fell on it at some point, or what caused the injury. This immediately tells him or her that you’re listening, and you care about the conversation.
5. Reference something they’ve said in a previous conversation. Another good tip is to reference something they’ve said before. In your next conversation with your boss, ask him how his Aunt’s leg is doing, how she is feeling. Use her name.
6. Get your point out quickly. There are few things more frustrating than talking to someone who does not possess the ability to get to the point quickly. Time is money, and rambling on and on before making your point can become costly. For the both of you.
7. Give your honest opinion. Not what you think they want to hear, most people can tell when they’re being patronized. Be diplomatic, but tell the truth. If your opinion of something or someone is a bad one, considering using alternative words that aren’t quite as harsh. For instance, if someone asks you what you think of the new boss, who is a perfectionist pain in the ass, instead use the term “thorough”. “He is very thorough.”