Overcoming fear
10 September 2006“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”
A truer phrase has not been spoken. Imagine the endless possibilities for our lives, if we were completely free from crippling fears. We would have no qualms about asking for that raise we know we deserve, we’d have no problem approaching new people, or new situations. We’d give our ‘wild ideas’ a shot, and we’d never have any problem taking on our new business venture, we’d be fearless.
It has been my experience that there are a few questions you need to ask yourself, when dealing with fears and attempting any type of self improvement related to them.
Q1: Is it rational? Does it interfere with my life?
This is tantamount to, is it broken? Does it need fixing? There are some fears that, while they may illicit comments from those around us, are relatively harmless, if not rational. If you’re desperately afraid of giant spiders, that’s probably a healthy fear. If you’re afraid of spiders in general, that’s still not an irrational fear, and you need to evaluate how much your fear interferes with your life. Are you making this change to please yourself, or those around you?
Q2: Identify what you are actually afraid of: If you’re afraid of dogs, are you actually afraid of the sight of dogs? Or are you afraid of dogs biting you.
This is an important distinction. This defines whether or not your fear can be easily cured. If you’re afraid of dogs biting you, logic dictates that you should not fear a dog that does not bite. If you have a fear of dogs in general, you have to ask yourself why you’re afraid of them. Were you given some bad information from a family member or friend that was also afraid of dogs? You have to allow your logic to take over. Millions of families have dogs as part of their household, and only a very small percentage have any problem with aggression. Would that be true if all dogs were to be feared? Apply this to whatever your fear is, I am just using a fear of dogs as an example.
Look at it rationally, are other people getting along fine with whatever you are fearing? What makes them more capable of doing so, than you?
Finally: Research Prove to yourself how it is irrational
If you’re afraid of swimming in the ocean, because you fear you’ll be attacked by a shark, consider checking the facts. Find out the astronomically bad odds of you being attacked. If you have to, even break it down to the area you want to start swimming in. Find out when the last reported shark attack in that area was, has there ever even been one? And, breaking it down even further, at the actual beach, look around at all the people in the water. Even if a shark was looking to attack someone, what would make it attack you? Of all the people in the water, of all days prior, why you?
In conclusion:
If you have identified your fear, and found that it is keeping you from living your life, or living the life you want to live, its time to make a change. Some fears are understandable, a fear of wild animals for instance. Others are crippling and needless. If you find yourself having fears that fall in the latter category, you need to realize that allowing yourself to fall victim to your fear is likely a far worse fate than whatever you are fearing will happen.
Fears open the door for fears, so squash them now.
Did my post help you? Buy me a coffee?Hiatus
Dental Phobia Prefix
Overall thoughts on dental phobia
Recognizing Convenient Beliefs (Part 1)
Phase 1: Appointment, made
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October 24th, 2006 at 9:45 am
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