So with a recent financial situation entering the picture, and a loss of what could only be described as a family heirloom, I have been given the opportunity to write this article from personal experience, in real time.

I hit my low last night. Nothing near suicide or anything like that, just an overwhelming feeling of despair and absolute hopelessness. As I write this right now, just remembering it brings me down a bit.

However, the news is not all bad, as I have found a few tips so that you may avoid hitting lows like I have:

Steve Pavlina wrote back in June that depression doesn’t come from your circumstance, it comes from dwelling on your circumstance. He couldn’t have been more spot-on. Last night, the more I considered my situation, the worse it got. As I tried to reason my way out of it, it was as if the noose of angst was only getting tighter. I was in mental quick sand, the faster I thought, the more I sank.

Then an amazing thing happened. I fell asleep.

I know what you’re thinking, big deal. Yes, big deal. When I woke back up, I experienced what I’m sure many of you have had in the same situation. I felt fine, but had a feeling there was something I was forgetting. “Wasn’t I really upset, before I fell asleep?”, it was after asking myself this question that the reasons WHY I was upset came flooding back. It was then, at that very moment, that I realized the truth behind Mr. Pavlina’s statement.

So I spent the next few hours conquering small tasks and thinking ahead to how I’d like to see situations improve. I didn’t delude myself. I didn’t pretend that everything would be back to the way they were in the future. I instead just pictured things as I’d like them to turn out, from this point forward. I was *astonished* at how quickly I quite literally “snapped-out” of my depression.

So, from now on, when you feel the onset of hopelessness or despair. When you feel those negative thoughts flooding in, try to distract yourself and keep from putting any serious thought in to them. I’m not saying ignore situations that need your time, I’m just saying give them as little of your schedule and worry as you can and let go entirely of situations that you have no control over. I know, easier said than done, but take heart in the knowledge that I just did exactly that, and I’m no stronger a person than you.

Step 1.

If you recently drank coffee, as in within the past 30-45 minutes, eat a couple of pieces of bread. I’m not sure about the physiological effects, or if this actually “sops up” the coffee you drank, and perhaps one of my readers can let me know on this, but it definitely seems to help me.

If it has been longer, move on to

Step 2

Depending on how long you have had your headache, I have found different pain relievers work better for me. Ibuprofen (Advil) works well for me when my headache is relatively young, as in no more than an hour or two old.

When I’ve been nursing the headache longer, aspirin tends to help me faster, and do a better overall job eliminating it.

Step 3

I have just recently tried using peppermint, at the suggestion of a friend. I took several peppermint leaves, boiled them like a tea, and inhaled the steam. I was astounded at how well this worked. Give it a try yourself.

Other remedies I have heard of are squeezing your hand in between your thumb and forefinger, using an ace bandage on your head (I am not responsible if you try this one, and the top of your head pops off) and putting an ice cube on each temple.

I have had limited success with these remedies, and thus cannot wholeheartedly recommend them like I can the peppermint.

Step 4

Remove all light from the room you will be laying in. This includes VCRs, TV lights, outside lights, laptops, desktops, everything. I know this seems like the worst time to be unplugging stuff, but trust me, you’ll regret it if you don’t.

Step 5

Control the air temperature in the room. Contrary to what you would think, I have found an exceedingly cold room has actually made my headache worse. Make it comfortable, not too cold, not too hot. Cool enough to have a blanket.

Bring a glass of water in to the room you will be resting in.

Put the blanket on.

Lay down, face up with your eyes closed and your head at a slight incline. Concentrate on slowing your breathing, and reducing your blood pressure. Focus on your heart beat and the pressure in your head, mentally try to reduce it.

When I follow these tips, nine out of ten times my caffeine headache goes away. I hope it helps, if it does, feel free to leave a comment. If it doesn’t, do the same, if you have any tips of your own….yep.

Before you can ever hope to succeed, you have to answer this question and answer it truthfully.

Success is something different for everyone, just like there is no universal path to self improvement. Success is an abstract concept of a state that has no real definition. Success, in the vast majority of cases, does refer to monetary wealth. Yet, you wouldn’t hear someone refer to a lottery winner as a “success”.

In my opinion, a successful person is a person who makes a living doing what they enjoy doing. A successful person is someone who’s life is right where they want it to be, regardless of what that means. So any guide that claims to show you the “path to success” has to first help you figure out your own definition of the word.

So, first ask yourself the question: What is the one goal that I would be willing to sacrifice everything for?

After you answer the question, re-evaluate your answer. Would you really sacrifice everything for this goal? If you answered “getting rich”, and you’re currently married, would you sacrifice your relationship to get rich? If you’re single, would you give up ever making a connection with another human being?

Avoiding Generalities

Goal-setting is a precise science. When you set a target weight, you don’t give a range of 20-30 lbs. You set a specific weight you want to reach, set that as your goal, and strive for it. The same is true for defining your ‘success target’. Avoid generalities like “I just want to be happier” or “all I need is to be healthier”. In what ways specifically would you be happier? Would a better job make you happier? Furthering your education? What specific ailments or conditions do you want to remedy to reach your goal of being “healthier”.

Part 2 “All power to forward thrusters”

Before Starting

Before starting to write your entry, and after choosing your topic, list between 15 and 25 concepts you would like to hit in your article. If you are unable to do this, choose a new topic. Your topic should not only interest your readers, but interest you. Passion is not something easily faked, and can be read rather easily in an article.

Outline

If you aren’t willing to sketch out a quick outline, you shouldn’t be writing this article. Take your 15-25 concepts, boil them down in to 8-10 solid ideas, and arrange them in a logical order.

The Paragraph Order

Sentences should be arranged in a clear sequence. Hasty thinking causes a lack of unity in your entries, and will likely result in a strange arrangement of your sentences. Be careful not to write as you think, in other words, don’t just write down ideas as they come to you and press Publish. Your mind is not set up to think in clear paragraphs, because it’s thoughts don’t have to make sense to anybody but you. Your entries, on the other hand, do.

The Paragraph Size

We all learned this in elementary school, but bloggers seem to have forgotten somewhere along the line. Make sure your paragraph is of a proper length and make sure you aren’t just hitting enter at random points. Each paragraph should have five or six sentences all related to each other. Start with a clear topic sentence, followed by 3-4 supporting sentences and finishing with a closing sentence that wraps up your ideas. If you have a layout with a small content area, as in not particularly wide, you may have to adjust this.

The Daunting Paragraph

Concerning paragraph size, we need to also remember we are not being graded for grammatical correctness. A long, daunting-looking paragraph that just breathes uninteresting is more likely to get a potential reader to move on than a short one is. If you’ve written a huge block of content, any more than 8 lines on your layout, consider breaking it up in to two seperate paragraphs.

Revise

Go back over your entry, read each paragraph carefully. See if there is anything you do not need, or a concept you’re pumping five sentences out of, but could be summed up in two. Try to boil down each paragraph. In other words, without creating run-on sentences, attempt to remove one sentence from every paragraph. If you’re able to do this, you’re over-writing. Either shorten the entry or choose a new topic that you can write more about.

delicious tagged howto: Del.icio.us is a repository for lots of useful information, and the subject of howto is no different. Tons of useful links, updated frequently (obviously).

Did I miss one? Comment it in below.

Phong Tutorials: Phong’s design has gotten a bit…crazy, but their Photoshop tutorials are still top-knotch.

Planet Photoshop: Planet Photoshop has a number of excellent tutorials, and a moderately popular forum for your questions.

Good-Tutorials.com: More tutorials than you could ever possibly need or use.

Spoono: Spoono has been around for quite some time, they don’t have as many tutorials as the first 3, but the ones they do have are very useful and extremely in-depth.

Adobe’s Delicious: Adobe’s del.icio.us page is rife with resources for every one of their products, not limited to just Photoshop.

Absolutecross.com: Has quite a few helpful tutorials, again, not quite as many as some of the others.

Tutorialized’s Photoshop Section: Tons, TONS of tutorials and guides from the king of tech-tutorial sites.

Designertoday Tutorials: Pretty niche tutorials, but worthwhile nonetheless.

I was asked recently, by someone just starting up a blog, what they should do for inspiration for their entries. I’m pretty sure they don’t know about this blog, so I think they were just asking me to make conversation, but that’s neither here nor there. It…inspired me to write an entry on it, and here it is.

The simple answer really does sum up the point that I plan on getting to, so if you realize what I’m saying by “don’t” already, you honestly can stop reading right now. The way I write, what works for me, is not writing an article, rather recording a thought and expanding it with explanations to make it coherent to a third party. For instance, lets say I’ve made a change in my day-to-day ritual that I have found productive, and I think it would make for a good entry. I would do the following:

1. Write the idea down as simply as I can.

This past week, I’ve started drinking one cup of coffee in the morning, and replacing my second with green tea.

2. Consider (and write) my reasons for making this change.

Excessive caffeine has been causing me to feel jittery throughout the day.

3. How has this change helped me?

I feel a lot better, and it has inspired me to change other aspects of my diet that may be unhealthy.

Now, the simplest way to form this in to an article would be to take #2, expand it in to the opening paragraph. Expand #1 by explaining any roadblocks I may have run in to in giving up the coffee for the middle two or three paragraphs, and finally close with a paragraph based on #3. Obviously this does not work for all topics, and I don’t use it all the time, but its definitely a good tip to remember when writers block sets in.

Look for a much-longer Part 2.

Maintenance: If you talk to 5 different mechanics, you’ll likely get 5 different answers as to how often various things have to be changed, clean, or checked. In my experience, keeping to the following rules will save you money in the long run:

Spark plugs: A poorly firing spark plug will cause your car to run rough, and a loss in gas mileage due to more of your gas not igniting and escaping through the exhaust. I *highly* recommend using Bosch Platinum 4 plugs. They are a bit more expensive, but you’ll really see the difference in overall performance. I do not have any affiliations with Bosch, and do not make any money if you purchase them, the link goes to a Froogle search that I also make no money from.

Oil: I like to use a synthetic oil, and I change my oil every 1000 miles. Oil filter every 3000. I do not have a particuliar oil that I use, I usually just get what is cheapest. The oil filter is a totally different story, though, I never use anything but K&N. In my opinion there is just nothing else that compares. If you look at how they are constructed, you can see immediatelly how they are superior. Their filtering system is incredibly sophisticated, and if you weigh a used K&N vs any other brand, the K&N will always weight considerably more. This shows you how much more…well…crap is being removed from your oil.

Air filter: The same goes for the air filter as the oil. A good air filter will not restrict air flow in to the engine, but will still remove contaminants from the air before it reaches the intake. The only performance air filter I have experience with is K&N, but I can vouch for their quality. Again, holding a cheapo filter, and holding a K&N, you can see the difference. The cheapo usually either has thin paper, and is flimsy, or has paper that is too thick to allow sufficient air through. Go with the K&N, and search Google for your car model and “cold air intake”, and look in to purchasing one, if one is available. Cold air intakes take it one step further by relocating the intake from the engine compartment, or just behind the radiator, to a spot below the compartment where it can easily pull in cold air rather than hot.

Fluids: Check your fluids, check your fluids, check your fluids. Its so obvious, but people constantly neglect to check their transmission fluid (if you have an automatic), brake fluid and coolant levels. There is no better early-warning-system than fluid levels. Check them when you check your oil, which should be once a week with any kind of significant distances drove, by the way.
Tires: Its also obvious, its been said a thousand times, but still people don’t listen. Check your tire pressure. Check them before a long trip, check them when you return. Check them with a pressure meter once every 2 weeks, do a visual check every time you get in or out of the car. A tire inflated to the proper pressure will save you not only in gas, but can give you a few thousand extra miles on your tires, and a few hundred miles on your brake pads.

In conclusion, theres probably no better way to save money on your car than to just take care of it. Washing it and doing the above should save you a lot of headaches, and save your checkbook a few entries.

In part 2, I’ll cover my MPG-increasing tips.

]]> http://www.leahey.org/2006/08/27/car-hacks-part-1-maintenance/feed/ 0 http://www.leahey.org/2006/08/26/how-to-quit-any-habit/ http://www.leahey.org/2006/08/26/how-to-quit-any-habit/#comments Sun, 27 Aug 2006 00:50:47 +0000 andrew http://www.leahey.org/2006/08/26/how-to-quit-any-habit/ Quitting habits is probably the single most-resolved New Years resolution, they’re likely also the most commonly failed. The reason is obvious, people are going about the whole process the wrong way.

From my experience, a few tips:

No half measures: This may seem daunting, but I have found it much easier to quit a habit when I do so cold-turkey, so to speak. Weaning yourself off an addiction, with the exception of ones you have to for physical reasons, is never a good idea. Think about it. What do you think its easier to do:

Cave in and smoke your first cigarette in 2 days after resolving to quit

or

Smoke your 6th cigarette, after you resolved to cut back to 5 a day.

If you answered the latter, you’re right. To cave to the second only requires you betray yourself for one cigarette, your sixth. To cave to first requires you betray yourself to all the cigarettes you didn’t smoke in the past 2 days.

Beyond that, its always true that the more time you can put between you and your last fix of whatever you’re addicted to, the better your odds are of succeeding in quitting.

Set your mind: The next step is to set your mind to the fact that what you were doing was harmful to yourself, and must NEVER be done again. Realize that you probably quit just in time and if you start right now you can still fix it.

I think the worst thing that can happen to an addicted person, is despair. The “it’s too late for me” syndrome. I’ve found it to be as popular amongst alcoholics as the “I don’t have a problem” disease. It’s never too late. I knew a woman who conquered her alcoholism and smoking addiction 2 years before she died of lung cancer and liver failure. She told me, I’ll never forget it, that even with all that had happened, her proudest accomplishment was winning her fight with her addictions. This was a dying woman, did she feel it was too late for her? No. So whats your excuse?

On the opposite end of the spectrum are those who believe that they have “plenty of time”. This may be true, but have you ever heard of a downside to quitting an addiction too early? No? How about quitting one too late?

Find an alternative: For the first while, ‘while’ being any where from a week to a year depending on what you’re addicted to, its probably best to find something to take the place of your addiction. For instance, if you used to have a drink after dinner, instead start taking a walk. The benefits of this are two-fold, you’re keeping your mind occupied and off your addiction, and you’re simultaneously getting rid of a bad habit and adding a good one. This sets your subconscious to start thinking in terms of whats really good for you.

Keep a journal: Write down every days progress, when you thought about your addiction, what tempted you. If your friends already know about your problem, consider making the journal public. This makes it more difficult to fall back in to your old habit. Now not only will you have to deal with your own conscience, you’ll also have to explain to your friends why you smell like smoke again. Register a blog at blogger.com and let them read about your daily trials, you might inspire someone else.

Clean up the other aspects of your life: If you’re an alcholic, its a good idea to quit smoking as well.One could argue that taking on more than one addiction at a time is more difficult, but I don’t believe so. I think if you are truly committing yourself to becoming more healthy, you would want to get rid of every unhealthy habit you have.

Realize that you are not unique: This probably seems counter-intuitive, but listen to what I’m saying first. You need to realize that you are not the first person to suffer from your addiction. There have been thousands, probably millions of people before you just as addicted as you are, and as long as at least one of them successfully kicked the habit, why can’t you?

Don’t make excuses, you’re only fooling yourself. Don’t say, “I only smoke because my life is stressful”, are you honestly arrogant enough to believe that your life is more stressful than every other non-smoker? Not one of them has a rougher time than you?

In conclusion: The bottom line is you have to realize that, whatever your problem is, its not that difficult to fix. You’re worth the best shot at a good life you can get.

Tags: lifehacks, howto, quitting

]]> http://www.leahey.org/2006/08/26/how-to-quit-any-habit/feed/ 3 http://www.leahey.org/2006/08/25/how-to-get-more-for-your-junk-on-ebay/ http://www.leahey.org/2006/08/25/how-to-get-more-for-your-junk-on-ebay/#comments Fri, 25 Aug 2006 13:01:01 +0000 andrew http://www.leahey.org/2006/08/25/how-to-get-more-for-your-junk-on-ebay/ EBay’s fees have been steadily increasing over the years, almost in perfect synchronicity with their growth in popularity. Even at the current (in my opinion) rather-high prices, there is no place better to unload your used stuff. Where else can you reach a worldwide customer base with millions of users? When trying to get the most for your item or items, I have found there are a few key things to remember:

Sell it ASAP: If you just bought the new iPod 3d Video Xbox 360 Gaming Device, don’t wait too long to sell your old iPod video. More times than I care to count I have waited a few months to sell my now-obsolete item, only to take an enormous loss. At the same time, don’t put your item up the instant a new version is announced, wait a week or so, and check what its going for.

Include competitors in the subject line: Yes, its shady, but the world of online-auctions is no place for half measures. When posting your Creative Zen Nano for sale, consider putting something like “Creative Zen Nano NOT iPod Nano” in the subject line. This way, your auction will get both searches for “Zen Nano” and “iPod Nano”. Who knows? You may get a user wishing to save a few (hundred) dollars on the iPod, and get a bid.

Include typos: When posting your Kalashnikov rifle for sale, consider including a few variations on the spelling in the subject line. “Kalishnakov”, “kalieshnakov”, not everybody can spell everything.

Take clear photographs: Yes, TAKE clear photographs. This does not mean use stock photos. Bidders want to see pictures of the item they’re actually purchasing, not what it might have looked like new. Be sure to clean the item up as best you can before taking the photo, find a good backdrop, something that keeps the focus on the item for sale. Your floral tablecloth is not a good bet. Keep it simple, white, black, or wood. Be sure to include at least 2 photographs of the item, from different angles.

Use the gallery: I think its $0.50 extra, it may actually be less. Including your item in the gallery allows bidders to see its picture in search results. I don’t have statistics to back me up, but I would bet items included in the gallery sell for at least 20-30% more than those that are not.

Post the shipping: Sellers love to jack up the price of shipping. Its an easy way to make a few extra bucks on the item post-sale. This causes bidders to be weary of bidding on items that do not have a firm (or calculated) shipping posted. Be sure to account for the price of the box you will need, and any packing materials you will be using to insure the item arrives safely.

Accept Paypal (ref): Paypal has been around for quite a while now, but it still amazes me how many eBay sellers do not accept it. Very few people want to be bothered mailing a money order or check, and having to wait an extra 7 or 8 days before receiving their item. Accepting instant payments via Paypal is a good way to attract additional bidders. Not to mention its easier for you, items can be paid for instantly, and you can have the proceeds in your checking account within 4 days.

Be honest: Most importantly, be honest. Lying about the quality or condition of your item may get you a few extra bucks on the auction, but in the long run you will pay for it. Receiving negative feedback is the surest way to reduce your chances of getting a high-bid in the future.

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