Archive for 'Lifehacks' Category
Scare yourself
26 March 2007You’ve heard this topic before, no doubt, but it is worth a remention/reread.
If there is one phrase, one sentence, one idea that I would give someone asking me how self improvement is accomplished, it would be “Scare yourself”. No one, no great thinker, no great athlete, no great musician or actor, has ever achieved greatness by remaining in their comfort zone. Every single one has had to challenge themselves, bite off just a little bit more than they thought they could chew, to truly achieve their dreams.
Look at it this way. Few people have lowly ambitions. By ‘ambitions’, I’m not referring to what you would be ’satisfied with’, I’m talking about those dreams you have where your life is perfect. It could be…a well paying job, a loving spouse (who moonlights as a model), and adoring honor roll children. It could also be a fat paycheck and the new Benz. Regardless, you can’t expect to achieve any of those dreams if you aren’t willing to shake yourself up a little bit. If extreme success was easy, everyone would be successful.
You will read a lot of articles that tell you to ‘do one thing each day that frightens you’. I say, in every decision, in every aspect of every situation of every day, do what frightens you. Strive to achieve just a little bit more than you think you can. Apply for the position you aren’t sure you can get. Ask for the promotion you know you deserve, but are afraid to request. Talk to the girl (or guy) that is out of your league.
Always shoot for the moon, and you just may be surprised with what you’ll hit.
Did my post help you? Buy me a coffee?Investing in others
21 March 2007I have seen or read hundreds, if not thousands, of articles talking about investing in yourself. This article will cover something a little different, investing in others.
From a completely selfish point of view, investing some time in other people can do you a lot of good. Making someone else feel good; helping an older person with groceries, changing a tire for a stranded driver or giving your neighbor a lift to the doctor, all can do a world of good for your self esteem.
Beyond that, you never know the connections you may make, or where your next business associate/friend/significant other will be found. What better first impression can be made than an unselfish act of kindness?
So, starting tomorrow, start looking for people to lend a hand to. Start slow, start trying to find one person in need per week. I’m not talking about giving your pay check to a homeless person, something small. Take your neighbor’s garbage cans in when you take in yours. Stop and have that chat with your neighbor that you’ve been avoiding. Take the time to notice the people around you in need, and there will be someone there to notice you.
Did my post help you? Buy me a coffee?Conversational pointers (Part 1)
23 February 2007Introduction
This self improvement article — or should I say, series of articles, will cover various conversational pointers I have found to be helpful. Skills of conversation are useful in all facets of life; be it relationships, friendships, or business discussions. A good conversationalist will always be understood, while remaining a good listener. He or she will add something to the conversation, and allow others to as well. They will always leave you wanting more.
This particuliar article covers holding a conversation that will leave the other party positively impressed. It implies some sort of superiority (in your mind) from the other party. I.e. A job interview, a conversation with the boss, or approaching a member of the opposite sex.
It may be construed as not being your ‘true self’, or being manipulative. If you feel it is, feel free not to use these techniques. Being opinionated while not being a jerk will be covered in a future article.
(The following examples are rather crude, I know, but they are the best way of illustrating my points.)
Maintain eye contact
The most….most….MOST important part of holding a good conversation is MAINTAINING EYE CONTACT. If you read nothing else in this article, and take away nothing else from this site, take this. At all times, in all situations, it is best to maintain eye contact and ignore distractions when holding a conversation with another party. They are it. They are the only thing interesting in the room, the building, the entire world. Pick an eye, stare at it. You can move your head so that you don’t look like a psycho, maybe sniffle from time to time or pretend to take something out of your eye. But maintain. eye. contact.
Eye contact shows the other party many things. Not the least of which is self assurance. You are self confident. You have no problem looking directly in to someones eyes and telling them your opinion. You are interested. The traffic outside, the waiter that drops the dishes, none of these things are interesting to you. The conversation, is interesting.
Ask leading and clarifying questions
Look at it this way, if you have to choose between being considered too quiet or too talkative, you will always want to be too quiet. Not to the point of appearing shy or nervous, but just respectfully reserved. The best way to remain reserved while actually maintaining a conversation, is to ask leading questions that allow the other party to say what they’ve basically wanted to say anyway.
An example would be Fred telling you he’s looking forward to going out on his new boat for the first time this weekend. Fred obviously wants to tell you about his boat, he is not interested in hearing about that one time you went sailing when you were 13. The best way to handle conversations such as these is to ask a question that allows the Fred to tell you about his boat.
The first thing you would do is adjust your body language to indicate interest. Be it raising your eyebrows or taking a step closer to him. You would then ask your leading question. “New boat?” From this point, its pretty much self explanatory. When Fred seems to be running out of steam, you ask him another question that allows him to avoid stalling. “Planning on doing any fishing?”
Paraphrase
Asking leading questions and asking for clarification is good to get the other party to tell you about themselves. Inevitably, though, you will have to tell them about you. The best way of handling this is to paraphrase what they have said. If they comment that the Mets are having a ‘terrible year’, your reply might be something like ‘…yeah, what happened to their pitching?’. Be careful to avoid parrot syndrome. You don’t want to just refeed the other party everything they say with synonymous adjectives. Use paraphrasing sparingly.
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