Archive for 'Overcoming Phobia' Category
Scare yourself
26 March 2007You’ve heard this topic before, no doubt, but it is worth a remention/reread.
If there is one phrase, one sentence, one idea that I would give someone asking me how self improvement is accomplished, it would be “Scare yourself”. No one, no great thinker, no great athlete, no great musician or actor, has ever achieved greatness by remaining in their comfort zone. Every single one has had to challenge themselves, bite off just a little bit more than they thought they could chew, to truly achieve their dreams.
Look at it this way. Few people have lowly ambitions. By ‘ambitions’, I’m not referring to what you would be ’satisfied with’, I’m talking about those dreams you have where your life is perfect. It could be…a well paying job, a loving spouse (who moonlights as a model), and adoring honor roll children. It could also be a fat paycheck and the new Benz. Regardless, you can’t expect to achieve any of those dreams if you aren’t willing to shake yourself up a little bit. If extreme success was easy, everyone would be successful.
You will read a lot of articles that tell you to ‘do one thing each day that frightens you’. I say, in every decision, in every aspect of every situation of every day, do what frightens you. Strive to achieve just a little bit more than you think you can. Apply for the position you aren’t sure you can get. Ask for the promotion you know you deserve, but are afraid to request. Talk to the girl (or guy) that is out of your league.
Always shoot for the moon, and you just may be surprised with what you’ll hit.
Did my post help you? Buy me a coffee?Recognizing Convenient Beliefs (Part 1)
20 February 2007(Part 1)
What is a ‘convenient belief’
A convenient belief is just what it sounds like, a belief OF convenience. An example: Man who fears doctors adopts the belief system that they are unable or unwilling to cure diseases, and can actually make you sicker (and/or) are just out for your money. Generally a belief of convenience comes about as a reason to not do something, as in the example. It can also be a reason TO do something, good or bad. An example there would be a rapist who believes that his victims “asked for it” or “had it coming to them”. To suppress his conscience, he is convincing himself (and you, if you let him) that he is not the one to blame, and the victim is the person at fault.
Often times we can quite readily identify this line of thought in others, but are unable to see it in ourselves. I, myself, have fallen victim to this before. I will see there is some activity I should do, but don’t want to. I then look high and low for reasons, or other people, who also don’t want to do it. I mold my reality around these reasons, and before I know it, I truly believe I have a good reason for avoiding said activity (apart from fear, laziness, or lack of motivation).
Identifying
The key to identifying beliefs of convenience is getting to the root of why you do the things you do. This sounds easier than it is. You will basically have to look at everything you do, and don’t do, throughout daily life. You will then have to analyze what makes you do some things and avoid others. That may sound simple, but being honest with yourself is probably one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do.
Another example is one’s belief system. If you’re an atheist, are you an atheist because you genuinely believe there is no higher power, or are you an atheist because you have something to fear if there is? If you’re a Christian, are you one because you truly believe in the religion, or are you one because you fear the idea of being in complete control of every single aspect of your life?
Conclusion
You may come to realize that you have, in fact, been lying to yourself. Now, that doesn’t neccessarily mean that you want to change anything. Some people, I firmly believe, would rather believe what they would LIKE to be true, rather than what they truly think is true. This is not a problem in the above example of religion, but it can become one in other aspects of your life, such as the doctor example.
Did my post help you? Buy me a coffee?Overall thoughts on dental phobia
1 February 2007Though, as you all have read, I am in the middle of a series of dental procedures. I would still classify myself as a dental-phobe. I thought I would try to outline the main fears *I* have, and how I’ve overcome them, in the hopes that I might inspire someone else to do the same. In all my articles, I have a feeling that if I can help just one person make that initial decision to change their lives, I have succeeded.
Needles
The first, and the most powerful phobia, for me. I realistically know that the next fear, Pain, will not be an issue if I am given a needle. My fear of needles, however, prevents me from feeling any better about all of that. I have read numerous articles on where and why we fear needles. It has been said that many of the greatest thinkers have had a phobia of injections. At least we’re all in good company.
It’s not the pain involved in getting a needle that is bothersome to me, its actually the mental idea of having a piece of metal pierce my skin and enter in to my vein (or anything else). In fact, as I typed that, I felt a slight twinge to protect my arms. I imagine it is only natural, as any smart creature on earth would try to prevent itself from being stabbed. I wonder if there is some truth to the idea of intelligence causing a fear of hypodermics. Is it something in our brain that tells us its ‘just not right’?
The way I, personally, overcame my fear of needles was….by not overcoming it at all. I asked the dentist to tell me when he would give me the shot, he kept it out of my sight, and I closed my eyes when he did it. Honestly, it wasn’t comfortable. HOWEVER, I would say a simple banging of ones hand on a desk is 100% more painful than any of my needles ever were.
Pain
This is not a personal fear of mine, but I imagine it to be a fear of many. The fear of pain. If you are not afraid of needles, you should put this fear to rest. Once given a shot to numb your mouth, you should *not* feel anything. If you do, give a yell, and ask for another shot. That’s it. The entire procedure should, and if done right would, be painless.
Nausea
I have, at times, suffered from this. The idea that you will be sick and vomit. It’s not just with dentists that I have had this feeling, its creeped in to many other parts of my life. For instance, in a crowded car where I’m sitting in the middle of the backseat with a person on either side. There was a time when I would get myself so nervous about the prospects of being sick, that I would actually begin to feel sick. Ridiculous, isn’t it?
The way I overcame all this was by insuring that previous to my dental appointment I hadn’t eaten in well over 12 hours. I had no breakfast (I had a morning appt) and my last meal was dinner the night before. Just keep reminding yourself that since you haven’t eaten, you can’t be sick, and you will feel much better.
Loss of control
This is a personal phobia of mine as well. I have used it to my advantage, though, in my abstaining from alcohol and other mind-altering substances. It does, at times, cause a problem though. I have a fear that if I’m gassed or put under, I will say or do things that will make me look foolish. It’s pretty stupid, if you think about it. Nonetheless, I do fear it, and I do avoid it.
The way to overcome this is simply to not lose control. Ask the dentist if you can put the mask with the nitrous on your own face. You will put it on when YOU feel ready, no one is gassing you, you’re just controlling your own anxiety and level of pain.
Reprimand
This fear I personally did not suffer from as my teeth were not in any way damaged from my time away. However, I know that many people fear they will be the “worst case ever seen”, and suffer from a phobia of the dentist literally calling in colleagues to come take a look at the mess you are. The truth is, no dentist worth his salt would ever do such a thing. He will try to minimize your problem, and put you at ease. The reasons are simple. You have obviously stayed away from dentists for a reason. A kind dentist does not want to keep you away any longer, he wants you to come back and get your problems solved, he wants you to feel at ease. A savvy dentist doesn’t want to see a customer not return.
Think of it this way. If you had no problems the dentist would have no job. He counts on you not having perfect teeth to keep his business running, just as a doctor counts on illness and a lawyer counts on criminals. You can be guaranteed that you are NOT the worst case he has ever seen. When he was practicing, he practiced dental procedures on cadavers. CADAVERS. He worked on DEAD PEOPLE’S MOUTHES. You are NOT going to disgust him.
In conclusion
You might consider keeping a journal just as I have, as you progress through your appointments and procedures. It helps you to think outside of yourself, to the people who will read your fears, and how you overcame them, just as you have read mine. You, the reader, helped me get through. I hope I have done the same for you. If you need someone to talk about your problems with, be sure to drop me a line at andrew [at] leahey.org. I will answer all emails.
A site I found useful in overcoming my fear is DentalFearCentral.org. Be sure to check them out.
Read about MY journey through dental phobia in Phase 1 of my on-going journal.l
Did my post help you? Buy me a coffee?