Investing in others
March 21st, 2007
I have seen or read hundreds, if not thousands, of articles talking about investing in yourself. This article will cover something a little different, investing in others.
From a completely selfish point of view, investing some time in other people can do you a lot of good. Making someone else feel good; helping an older person with groceries, changing a tire for a stranded driver or giving your neighbor a lift to the doctor, all can do a world of good for your self esteem.
Beyond that, you never know the connections you may make, or where your next business associate/friend/significant other will be found. What better first impression can be made than an unselfish act of kindness?
So, starting tomorrow, start looking for people to lend a hand to. Start slow, start trying to find one person in need per week. I’m not talking about giving your pay check to a homeless person, something small. Take your neighbor’s garbage cans in when you take in yours. Stop and have that chat with your neighbor that you’ve been avoiding. Take the time to notice the people around you in need, and there will be someone there to notice you.
Did my post help you? Buy me a coffee?Conversational pointers (Part 1)
February 23rd, 2007
Introduction
This self improvement article — or should I say, series of articles, will cover various conversational pointers I have found to be helpful. Skills of conversation are useful in all facets of life; be it relationships, friendships, or business discussions. A good conversationalist will always be understood, while remaining a good listener. He or she will add something to the conversation, and allow others to as well. They will always leave you wanting more.
This particuliar article covers holding a conversation that will leave the other party positively impressed. It implies some sort of superiority (in your mind) from the other party. I.e. A job interview, a conversation with the boss, or approaching a member of the opposite sex.
It may be construed as not being your ‘true self’, or being manipulative. If you feel it is, feel free not to use these techniques. Being opinionated while not being a jerk will be covered in a future article.
(The following examples are rather crude, I know, but they are the best way of illustrating my points.)
Maintain eye contact
The most….most….MOST important part of holding a good conversation is MAINTAINING EYE CONTACT. If you read nothing else in this article, and take away nothing else from this site, take this. At all times, in all situations, it is best to maintain eye contact and ignore distractions when holding a conversation with another party. They are it. They are the only thing interesting in the room, the building, the entire world. Pick an eye, stare at it. You can move your head so that you don’t look like a psycho, maybe sniffle from time to time or pretend to take something out of your eye. But maintain. eye. contact.
Eye contact shows the other party many things. Not the least of which is self assurance. You are self confident. You have no problem looking directly in to someones eyes and telling them your opinion. You are interested. The traffic outside, the waiter that drops the dishes, none of these things are interesting to you. The conversation, is interesting.
Ask leading and clarifying questions
Look at it this way, if you have to choose between being considered too quiet or too talkative, you will always want to be too quiet. Not to the point of appearing shy or nervous, but just respectfully reserved. The best way to remain reserved while actually maintaining a conversation, is to ask leading questions that allow the other party to say what they’ve basically wanted to say anyway.
An example would be Fred telling you he’s looking forward to going out on his new boat for the first time this weekend. Fred obviously wants to tell you about his boat, he is not interested in hearing about that one time you went sailing when you were 13. The best way to handle conversations such as these is to ask a question that allows the Fred to tell you about his boat.
The first thing you would do is adjust your body language to indicate interest. Be it raising your eyebrows or taking a step closer to him. You would then ask your leading question. “New boat?” From this point, its pretty much self explanatory. When Fred seems to be running out of steam, you ask him another question that allows him to avoid stalling. “Planning on doing any fishing?”
Paraphrase
Asking leading questions and asking for clarification is good to get the other party to tell you about themselves. Inevitably, though, you will have to tell them about you. The best way of handling this is to paraphrase what they have said. If they comment that the Mets are having a ‘terrible year’, your reply might be something like ‘…yeah, what happened to their pitching?’. Be careful to avoid parrot syndrome. You don’t want to just refeed the other party everything they say with synonymous adjectives. Use paraphrasing sparingly.
Did my post help you? Buy me a coffee?Writing (good) unique content
February 21st, 2007
Every person capable of writing coherent sentences is also capable of writing truly unique content. The problem lies in writing content that is not only unique, but (as to close) universally found interesting, timeless, and informational/educational/comedic. Those are not the problems we will be conquering in this article, however, so on to the uniquities!
To thy own self be true
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. You have to truly believe the things you write to be found anyway interesting or a worthwhile read. You cannot be ‘playing a character’ in your writing, and expect success. Fakeness bleeds through the pages, and your readers will very quickly (either consciously or subconsciously) realize you are merely writing material to attract attention or get paid.
Don’t water it down
I’ve seen so many articles and entries that were 10-15 truly interesting paragraphs. The only problem was the writer had stretched it to 25-30 watered-down, bloated ones. I know you think writing more means you know more, or are informing the readers of more. You also would like to believe that the average reader is so genuinly interested in what you’re writing about, he or she would be more than happy to read 10 pages. They aren’t. Most people just skim long articles. If you want your readers to actually read your content, keep the word count down. Write it in 2 parts, if you have to.
Talk about personal experiences
Nothing screams unique and genuine quite like a few personal experiences peppered through your material. You not only assure the reader that you are genuine, and are interested in what you’re writing about, you instantly give them a “I’ve been there too” sense.
Would you take dog training advice from someone who never owned a dog?
Would you care what someone who never had surgery thought about the recovery process?
No, of course you wouldn’t. The same goes for any subject. The reader wants a certain level of expertise or experience in your writing. They expect you to have firsthand knowledge of what you are writing about, or at least portions of what you’re writing about. If they just wanted pure facts, with no opinions or personal experiences, they would look in an encyclopedia. You’re not that, you’re supposed to bring a personal touch.
Don’t read the competition
I know I’ve said before that reading other blogs or articles on content similar to your own is a good idea. I take it back. It’s not. You will instantly flood your brain with all sorts of ideas for new articles that are basically, at best, rehashed ones. You can read the competition, but don’t do so when you are actively trying to think of a new topic. If you write every other day, use the days off to read the other articles, that way they will (hopefully) not be as fresh in your mind when it comes time to sit down and write.
Conclusion
In conclusion, writing unique content and interesting articles is not rocket science. Almost anything you write will be interesting to someone. The number will go up if you have even the slightest amount of skill in delivery. Write about what you believe in, and don’t try to make every visitor happy. Keep it simple, stupid.
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